The illness onset was gradual–it started with the thought that she was under surveillance in her hotel room during a work trip. Then, she was so sure that she was being assessed by an international organisation to see if she was fit for promotion at her workplace. Even though everything made sense to her at that time, her behaviour became so bizarre that her colleagues and family were concerned. Soon, she started hearing voices. These voices would make a remark about every decision she tried to make. Like she would not be promoted if she ate rice. Within weeks, she stopped eating and neglected her personal hygiene. She couldn’t move or speak. She was eventually brought to a hospital for treatment.
Amelia was diagnosed with psychosis in 2019.
The recovery process was full of ups and downs for her. At first, she was lost and confused about her condition. When she realised what psychosis was, she was in shock and denial. “Was it going to be permanent?” she thought. It felt like doomsday.
Initially, she resisted taking medications because she did not think that she was unwell. But as the medications started to take effect some weeks later, she realised that the medications helped to reduce her confusion. It was such a relief to wake up to no voices. At that moment, she realised that what she had experienced was not rooted in reality. Taking medications was the starting point of her recovery.
As a part of her treatment, Amelia and her medical team built a routine for her to look forward to during her recovery journey. She participated in sports groups and current affairs discussion groups. Eventually she felt ready to try to work again and took up a temporary job. Being able to cope with the job boosted her confidence, and she started to look for longer term jobs. Today, she is employed in a permanent role and progressing well at work.
To everyone who has been diagnosed with a mental health condition, Amelia wants to say there is hope. One thought that kept her going was “Life goes on.” Even though it can be hard to see at times, recovery is possible. Perhaps like Amelia, one may be surprised at where the journey may take them. It may be helpful to learn to embrace the journey and always be kind to oneself.
Resources can be found here for anyone seeking support for their mental health.
The story above was contributed by one of our volunteers whose nickname is Amelia. She decided to share a chapter of her experience of recovery with psychosis because she wants to normalise having conversations about mental health in Singapore. We hope the figures below give you an idea of the number of people struggling in obscurity.
